About Sound Choices Coalition (501 c 3)

Sound Choices Coalition:
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Informing Society about the Realities of Polygamy and Advocating for its Victims

Sound Choices Coalition (SCC) is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that is dedicated to raising awareness and working to end the damaging practices associated with polygamous cultures.

SCC’s goal is to prevent underage “marriage” (sexual assault or statutory rape); child marriage; forced marriage; incest; sexual exploitation; trafficking; physical abuse; sexual abuse; polygamy itself, with its emotional abuse and gender inequities; medical neglect; educational neglect; welfare fraud; child abandonment; and child labor within polygamous communities.

These significant harms not only affect individuals, but also the societies that permit such practices to continue. We advocate for the victims of these abuses, and lobby for legal action, new legislation, and a proactive approach to promoting societies that are just and stable.

Visit us at sound-choices.com and www.facebook.com/SoundChoicesCoalition

WHY NOT POLYGAMY?

No practice that results in such ill effects should be a “right” under the US Constitution.
“The harms flowing from polygamy are too evident to ignore and too serious to allow to occur under the guise of fundamental rights.” (Lawyer, Thomas Buck.)

Is the polygamy issue “just like gay marriage?” Gay marriage and polygamy are vastly different in effect. We do not see the same abuses in monogamous, same-sex relationships. Gay marriages potentially offer equal power sharing and a stable unit that is not constantly changing with the addition of new partners.

Consenting adults? Many adult women enter polygamy under psychological and emotional pressure, believing that their eternal souls are in danger of destruction if they refuse to participate. Women from fundamentalist, Muslim, and other backgrounds face cultural pressures to conform to this practice.

Legislating morality? The US has always “legislated morality” independent of any religious rationale. Murder, rape, theft, etc., are illegal because they are morally wrong—i.e., they cause significant harms to individuals and society. The same applies to polygamy. Its results extend far beyond the bedroom.

“Good” polygamy versus “bad” polygamy? Canada’s ruling on polygamy found that “The harms associated with the practice are endemic; they are inherent.” This means that the harms of polygamy are not just the result of abusive individuals. Social, physical, or emotional harms are inevitable where polygamy exists.

Equal rights. Polygamy violates a woman’s right to equality and emotional health. Polygamy is “anathema to women’s economic, social and emotional well-being.” (Dr. Shoshona Grossbard.)

Disrupted family stability. In polygamy, men compete for women while attempting to maintain multiple relationships. This forces women to compete for love, attention, and resources. It also restricts time available for parenting and diminishes the economic resources needed for children’s well-being. Living in a family where the dynamics may change at any time as the father adds multiple partners, creates insecurity for children and family instability.

Women as a commodity. Polygamist males frequently seek to control the lives of females, who become commodities to be trafficked and traded between families and communities.

Increased sexual abuse. Holding out HELP (a Utah-based nonprofit) reports that over 90% of its clients leaving polygamy are victims of physical or sexual abuse (of which incest forms a part). Illegal underage sexual relations occur more frequently because competition for females drives down the age for “marriage.”

Polygamy, an antisocial and unsustainable practice. With a global 1:1 ratio of men to women, polygamy permits some men exclusive rights to multiple women, while denying other men a partner. One example of this antisocial behavior is the “Lost Boys” phenomenon. In nations where the gender ratio has been disrupted, sexual violence follows. (See India, where selective abortion of females means some men cannot find a partner.)

For More Info. Read: A Cruel Arithmetic – Inside the Case Against Polygamy, by Craig Jones

Conversations With Kristyn Decker @ Polygamy Uncensored

http://kristyn.srbroadcasting.com/


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THE BEST TIMES ARE: THE TODAY SHOW -Weekend News 09/01/2012

THE BEST TIMES ARE:

-hearing our grandchildren’s laughter, what ever they have to say; seeing their beautiful smiling faces and loving them so much it sometimes hurts.

-when family, friends, loved ones and even strangers show respect, kindness, acceptance, and unconditional love – Namaste.

-feeling so much joy that I want to shout from the mountain tops every time another woman, child, family, even man leaves polygamy’s strong-hold.

-gratitude and celebration for consciousness—sound choices, humanity, health, knowledge, progress, dignity, and genuine happiness.

-finally getting home after days or weeks of book promotions, and to my wonder man and his warm embrace.

-having a gratitude attitude – no matter what.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND PRECIOUS TO HOLD GRUDGES

THE TODAY SHOW Weekend News 09/01/2012 – MY HEROES’

I’m SO grateful to those who have by word of mouth helped publicize my book. Thank you so much! I’m also thrilled with the extent of media coverage we’ve had.

I’m sure most of you have already found that no matter what news casters hear, see, read and record there are still mistakes made when it comes to reporting. It’s often frustrating, especially if it’s something embarrassing. A few months ago after doing a phone interview for a newspaper, I had stated that many of the FLDS children and teens are un-educated. When the article was printed, the journalist had written that I said they were “stupid.” I felt so bad; there’s a big difference between stupidity and ignorance.

When Mara was interviewing me for the Today Show, I told her my father had 5 wives while I was growing up and as years passed, he married 8 more women. She must have missed the sum total of 13 (known to me) wives he had. And that’s okay, really. More than one partner is way too many for anyone—let alone 5 or 13. :)

In the caption of the picture of me, it says I was assigned to my husband.That too, isn’t a big deal, especially since my book explains how I became engaged.

More than anything, The Today Show was another of those BEST TIMES, and another media source I am extremely GRATEFUL for!

Check out the interview!

Post it on your face book, give it a “like” and pass it around the world.

Love,

Kristyn

BLOG IS NOW OPEN FOR COMMENTS UPDATE

We’ve been traveling for nearly 4 weeks. Our furthermost destination was to Salem Illinois, to the Decker Reunion—a wonderful family I’m so glad to be part of!

While we were gone, my husband and I received marvelous news. “The Justice Department Sues Polygamous Towns.” We thanked God again that this federal civil rights case was filed against the towns of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Az. Finally people who cared enough about declaring civil rights for many polygamists who don’t even know they should have them!

During our trip, I spoke about my life and my book at 3 different libraries, two Methodist Churches, and on the CNN morning news. We also sold hundreds of books. We’re amazed at the astounding written and personal responses from so many concerned and wonderful people across the country as well as here in Utah.

A huge thanks to K.S.L. TV in Salt Lake and K.P.C.W., an NPR affiliates here in UTAH, for interviewing me before we left! I especially thank them for not buying into the pressures or concerns that may have caused both the Desert News and Fox KVU, Las Vegas, to un-invite me to talk about my book and the things in the paragraph below.

Whether media sources in Utah and Nevada are succumbing to threats, bribes, business or personal relations and connections, it seems they’ve chosen to deflect the negative truths about polygamy. It’s easier to keep them hidden under the guise of the Sister Wives, Big Love, and the book, Love Times Three. All three families glamorize polygamy–portraying and claiming that they depict the “normal, average” happy, wealthy, functional, polygamous families, rather than the anomalies they really are.

Is it easier, this election year, for some of our big-wigs ‘up there’ to keep folks believing in that media “status quo” so that polygamy issues—now and then— won’t be a deterring issue that has to be dealt with or discussed?

*The Today Show, that spent nearly 6 hours with me last month in Murray, Utah, says they will still air my segment. We, our publishers and others say this is common. They think the postponement has something to do with some pending news that will air together, as it may add to their news agenda and cause – whatever that may be.

I’ve got several more commitments coming up, but hope to have enough time to do some spring cleaning, work in our yard, and spend more time with loved ones.

Check related sites. As soon as possible, we’ll post the links for the interviews I’ve already done, and the dates and places for things coming up in the future.

Thanks again for reading my book, for your supportive comments, for promoting my book to others, and for posting such quality reviews on Barns and Noble and Amazon and Facebook.

Love and light…

KD

Kristyn

UPCOMING EVENTS:

OCTOBER:

Thursday 4th – 590 KSUB Radio / Cedar City, Utah – Chris Holmes 5:00

Saturday 6th – Tuacahn Sat. Market – 9:00 – 1:00

Thursday 11th – Cedar City Library 6:00 – 8:00

Friday 12 – Heritage Writer’s Guild Conf. – Lexington Hotel – St. George Ut. 9:00 – 9:00

Saturday 13 – H W G C – St George – Author’s Book Signings – 7:00 – 9:00 BOTH NIGHTS

Thursday 18th – Focus on Women – Baltimore MD. 4:30 – 10:00

Monday 29 – Critical Issues Conf. Hilton, Salt Lake, Utah

Tuesday 30 – Critical Issues Closing Speaker – 4:00 – 4:45

NOVEMBER:

Thursday 1st – What Love is This? Doris Hanson – Chanel 20 – 8:00 – 9:00

Somewhere in all of that we get – A NEW GRANDDAUGHTER!

The Top Ten Dumpster Diving Delicacies – Chapter 21 – Poverty and Dumpster Diving

  1. Lots of filling carbs: bread, rolls and donuts.
  2. The dented cans of Spaghettios and Raviolis – a major treat for those special occasions.
  3. Damaged boxes of sugar coated cereal, along with a box of powdered milk (even with catsup splashed all over them.) What a breakfast treat!
  4. A quart or gallon of sour milk was great for making sour-dough bread.
  5. Just right” for the lucky boy who got the torn open package of brand new, un-used (Thank God) underwear.
  6. Little toys and puzzles that were still in the wrappers – some for us, some gifts for others kids.
  7. The fruit and vegetables that were still good on the inside after you got the extra blessing of having the outside food for the chickens.
  8. It had to be a huge chunk of cheese, so that when the entire mold was scraped off, there was still an edible portion inside.
  9. A big box full of greeting cards. I felt rich being able to send out such nice cards. NO, you are not still getting yours from the dumpster. We ran out of them years ago. But I did have to keep note of who got which one each year since there were so many duplicates.
  10. A box full of outdated but delicious chocolate bars, especially for us chocoholics!

*HEY, we were grateful – even without money for gloves and masks. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) none of our Dumpster Diving Delicacies qualified for that one big relief-society meal I was supposed to prepare for that other needy family. (Demoted to Nothingness – Chapter 25)

Queasiness

Nothing like good timing to cheer someone up! School will be out in five weeks, and I’ll finally be able to have a life, and promote my book. I am so grateful!

Balboa has been taking great care of me and my book. Everyone has been exceptionally professional and kind. Some days I feel like I’m the only author they’re working with, though I know they’re working with hundreds.

Right now, we’re doing a “short-run” on the book printing. I’m getting books for family, friends and co-workers for a better than retail price. But I have to say, while I feel excited about my book finally being published, I have also felt a little queasy as the time gets closer. Having my intimate and truthful stories read all over the world will certainly be informative and among the national talk; but it may also create more controversy—especially among family and those who still live and believe in polygamy.

When I read my book for the last time, before it went to press, my thoughts were: there is nothing in here that isn’t truthful. I disclosed that I changed names, a few places, dates, and such, as needed for others’ anonymity. Overall, those who were really with me through the thick and thin in my life, know that these events are real. I have a clear conscience and nothing to worry about.

I hope that by publishing my book, it will give hope to those still living polygamy, as well as to those who aren’t. Everyone can gain courage enough to leave a crazy making, dysfunctional life, and move forward in love, gratitude and happiness.

Today, I remind myself to keep on keeping on, and be proud of this accomplishment, even amidst those who will be derogatory and mean.

Love,

Kristyn