Why Not Polygamy?

 Why Not Polygamy? 

No practice that results in such ill effects should be a “right” under the US Constitution.

“The harms flowing from polygamy are too evident to ignore and too serious to allow to occur under the guise of fundamental rights.” (Lawyer, Thomas Buck.)

 Is the polygamy issue “just like gay marriage?” Gay marriage and polygamy are vastly different in effect. We do not see the same abuses in monogamous, same-sex relationships. Gay marriages potentially offer equal power sharing and a stable unit that is not constantly changing with the addition of new partners.

Consenting adults? Many adult women enter polygamy under psychological and emotional pressure, believing that their eternal souls are in danger of destruction if they refuse to participate. Women from fundamentalist, Muslim, and other backgrounds face cultural pressures to conform to this practice.

Legislating morality? The US has always “legislated morality” independent of any religious rationale. Murder, rape, theft, etc., are illegal because they are morally wrong—i.e., they cause significant harms to individuals and society. The same applies to polygamy. Its results extend far beyond the bedroom.

“Good” polygamy versus “bad” polygamy?  Canada’s ruling on polygamy found that “The harms associated with the practice are endemic; they are inherent.” This means that the harms of polygamy are not just the result of abusive individuals. Social, physical, or emotional harms are inevitable where polygamy exists.

Equal rights. Polygamy violates a woman’s right to equality and emotional health. Polygamy is “anathema to women’s economic, social and emotional well-being.” (Dr. Shoshona Grossbard.)

Disrupted family stability. In polygamy, men compete for women while attempting to maintain multiple relationships. This forces women to compete for love, attention, and resources. It also restricts time available for parenting and diminishes the economic resources needed for children’s well being. Living in a family where the dynamics may change at any time as the father adds multiple partners, creates insecurity for children and family instability.

Women as a commodity.  Polygamist males frequently seek to control the lives of females, who become commodities to be trafficked and traded between families and communities.

Increased sexual abuse. Holding out HELP (a Utah-based nonprofit) reports that over 90% of its clients leaving polygamy are victims of physical or sexual abuse (of which incest forms a part). Illegal underage sexual relations occur more frequently because competition for females drives down the age for “marriage.”

Polygamy, an antisocial and unsustainable practice. With a global 1:1 ratio of men to women, polygamy permits some men exclusive rights to multiple women, while denying other men a partner. One example of this anti social behavior is the “Lost Boys” phenomenon. In nations where the gender ratio has been disrupted, sexual violence follows. (See India, where selective abortion of females means some men cannot find a partner.)


Visit us at sound-choices.com and www.facebook.com/SoundChoicesCoalition


Polygamy Uncensored – Conversations With Kristyn Decker

Polygamy Uncensored – Conversations With Kristyn Decker, has been running for 11 months. In the last session listed below, I wind up my talk show with a review of most of the conversations with my past guests. On http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kristyndecker there are 40 archived conversations for you to learn from. Listed below are 35 from guests who have shared their stories of leaving polygamy, of their heartaches, and of their ongoing concerns. Among these conversations are professionals who have discussed past and ongoing research that informs you of the ongoing harms of polygamy to men, women, children and society.

Thanks to all who have eavesdropped on our PU conversations and passed the news along. Much honor to those who have done, and still donate some of their valuable time, energy and funds to help people who are leaving polygamy, because you care about them and the well-being of children and future generations.

Much gratitude goes to my past guests and co-hosts of this show, all of whom made great strides in informing the world about the harms of polygamy.

A special thanks to Paula Guenon, the producer of PU and Host of 2nd Act Boomers.com and Ajay Mata of Spiritually Raw T.V. who encouraged me to be the host of Polygamy Uncensored.  

And cheers to all who eavesdropped on our conversations, shared the news and will continue to!


It’s been a Very Successful Past Year on Polygamy Uncensored – Over view of 35 Conversations with Kristyn Decker


95% Of Polygamy Is NOT About Choice – Marion, a former convert to polygamy discussed the human rights violations she experienced and witnessed while in the same polygamous sect that both she and I left. We also shared the reasons most polygamy lived these days is NOT about choice.

Ex-Polygamist Husband’s Perspective – My full brother, Jay Allred, who is two years my senior, had 3 wives with whom he sired 17 children. He reminisced about the trials of being raised in polygamy, of his ongoing depression, and insecurities as a husband and father; and why he finally left.


The Sound Choices Coalition’s Efforts to Make Changes for the Children of Polygamists – My good friend, Ed Kociela, is the author of “PLYGS.” It’s about the death of children’s souls, and the manipulation of people of goodwill. It’s about power, greed, and perversion, as perpetrated by the self-proclaimed prophet of a fundamentalist Mormon sect that hides in the shadows of the desert on the Utah-Arizona border.


The Reasons Men and Women Live Polygamy, The Rights and Choices They Don’t Have, & Why So Many Stay – Rebecca Kimbel is a member of the Sound Choices Coalition & a board member of “Safe Kids Now.” She’s also my first cousin on my father’s side. We discussed the issues of rights and choices that don’t exist in polygamy. In this show, we destroy many of the myths of so called rights of polygamy as it is today.

Hardships of Leaving a Polygamist Culture – An anonymous guest told us of the hardships of leaving her families’ polygamist culture, and of the ongoing residual effects, even 20 years later.

Founder of Stop Polygamy in Canada Society (SPCS) – Nancy Mereska talks about her involvement with the Canadian court hearings that led Chief Justice Bauman to claim, “There is no such thing as so-called ‘good polygamy,” before his final decision to keep polygamy illegal in Canada.

Stolen Years: A Woman’s Struggle In and out of Polygamy – Kathleen Covington, an X-member of the AUB polygamist sect and a current member of the LDS Church, exposed her life in 2 different plural marriages, and the spiteful, inside lies and threats that stole years of her own life and children from her.


Lies & Deceit – My brother, Clark Allred, and I talked about the deceptions & consequences of being raised in polygamy. Clark grew up being groomed by his mother, our father’s fourth wife, to become the next prophet. As he discovered the lies and deceit all around him, his dreams faded into remorse and confusion.

Author Victoria Reynolds – Transcending Fear: The Journey to Freedom & Fulfillment – Victoria grew up in Pinesdale Montana, where she was raised by her father, who had 3 wives. In her early years, she left, and has since helped many victims of polygamy and of other religious abuses, heal by realizing how love can transcend everything.


  Kristyn’s Journey out of Polygamy into Gentle Activism – My friend and producer, Paula Guenon, who is also a Producer/Media Consultant/Radio Host discuss my in-depth journey “out of polygamy and into activism. What a long, tough, but exhilarating ride into discovering a joyous life and freedom!

  Leaving & Recovering From Polygamy – a Young Man’s POV
– Willie Steed stared in Breaking Polygamy, and Runaway Project on 20/20. He was featured in a pilot project with VH1, and participated on a University of LasVegas panel discussion with Kollene Snow, Christine Katas and I, to be shown on TLC’s “Sister Wives” show. After Willie’s father was kicked out of the FLDS cult, his mother left with her daughters to keep them from being stolen from her and trafficked into another polygamous commune. At age 18, Willie also left the FLDS cult with nothing but the cloths on his back, to reunite with his mother and sisters.

Part 2 of Leaving & Recovering From Polygamy – a Young Man’s POV– Willie Steed  

Part 2 of Transcending Fear & Part 3 of The Re-Education of Willie – Return Guests: Victoria Reynolds – Author of Transcending Fear: The Journey to Freedom and Willie Steed, featured in Breaking Polygamy / The Reeducation of Willie on 20/20. 

Escaping Polygamy & Finding True Happiness – Venessa was born to a polygamist father who had three wives and 40 children. She was also taught that she had to live polygamy to please God. She could never think otherwise, so she married her sister’s husband as his third wife, and gave birth to 6 children before she was finally able to leave him and the culture. Venessa has since been happy in her lesbian relationship.

Raised with 3 Moms and 19 Siblings – a Child’s POV on Polygamy – Lucille, 22, is the 11th child of her father’s 20 children. She speaks of the difficulty of being raised with 3 moms and 19 siblings in modern day society, and of dealing with her sexual preferences inside and out of that culture. 

The Importance of Exposing the Abuses of  Polygamy  – My cousin, Rich Cooke, was beat up and left for dead when he was kicked out of Colorado City as a young teen. People were shocked when he returned many years later. Since then, he’s been accused of everything in the book. Rich calls himself a UN-itinerant preacher, and in speaking of vile perpetrators, he says, “None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, because there are none.” 

Coming From 5 Generations of Polygamy – Irene Spencer, author of her New York best seller, “Shattered Dreams,” came from five generations of polygamy. As the second of ten wives, she was the mother of 14 of her husband’s 58 children. Her captivation story provided an intimate look at the daily struggles Irene faced a plural wife in Mexico among insane men and the “LeBaron” polygamist cult. She is also the author of Cult Insanity and Shattered Dreams Restored.

Escaped Polygamy and Her Father’s Cult
– Beautiful, feisty and kindhearted Kollene Snow ditched polygamy about 3 years ago. She speaks out for the rights of those who are still held in polygamy. Her father has numerous wives, so she has more siblings than she can count. She was on the Sister Wives “reality” show again, this time with me, Willie Steed and Christine Katas, showing snippets of a 2.5 hour panel discussion at the University of LasVegas.

The Ramifications Of Judge Waddoup’s Decision To Decriminalize Polygamy
– Marion Munn, Ed Kociela and I discussed the ramifications of Judge Waddoup’s decision to decimalize polygamy in Utah. Marion is a graduate student in the Communications Department of the University of Utah. She completed her Master’s Thesis that examines media rhetoric in the reporting of Arizona’s Short Creek police action of 1953. She focused on how attention was distracted from the child victims of statutory rape in a community that later spawned Warren Jeffs and the FLDS. These raised questions about children’s rights in polygamist communities today, and the discomfort that authorizes seem to experience in prosecuting child abuse within religious contexts. Marion has also worked with Holding out Help as an educational advisor for those leaving polygamy, and is a member of SCC. Ed Kociela has a knack for taking his readers behind closed doors. In his play Down-Winders, Ed takes his readers into the home of a family victimized by the nuclear fallout of the nuclear blasts at the Nevada Test Site. He also opened the doors to some frightening secrets locked away within a fundamentalist Mormon polygamous cult in this book, Plygs. He can also walk you backstage to hang out with some of the biggest stars in rock ‘n’ roll history.

Polygamy – What Love is This?
– Doris Hanson fled the Kingston polygamous group when she was eighteen years old. When she was born, a leader of the group asked her mother to save her from him—to be one of his wives when she grows up. In the cult, Doris felt lost and alone for quite some time. Years later, Doris became a devout Christian, who currently has her own T.V. show called ‘Polygamy – What Love is This’, where she often compares Mormon Polygamist Doctrine with the Bible. On her T.V. show, she interviews people who have left the mainstream LDS Church, as well as many who’ve left polygamy. Doris is also the director of Shield and Refuge Ministries helping people leave polygamy.

The Effects of Polygamy on The Physical and Mental Status of Women
– Dr. Susan Stickevers, from New York, got involved in the study and research of polygamy when her mother was the doctor of a suicide victim. The women drank Drano after her husband brought home a second wife and commanded her to deal with it. Dr. Stickevers discussed the effects of Polygamy on the physical and mental status of women. Muslim polygamy, she says is 4 times larger than fundamental Mormon polygamy in the U.S. She also went into depth about qualified scientific research as compared to anecdotal and anthropologist claims that “polygamous wives clearly suffer profound emotional and economic harm.” Her educated points of view and personal experiences recap threat of researchers’—that show polygamy is detrimental to all children, women and men involved, as well as to society.  

Is Polygamy Sanctioned in the Old Testament? – Lisa Seville is a graduate student of William Carey International University in Pasadena California. Lisa received her undergraduate degree from Westmont College in Santa Barbara, where she studied under the leading expert in the country from a sociological standpoint on the topic of New Religious Movements. She donated a plethora of things to think about when one considers “Is Polygamy Sanctioned in the Old Testament?”

Overcoming Abuse with Lu Anne Cooper, daughter of previous polygamist cult leader, Ortell Kingston –Luann’s father had 13 wives and more children than can be counted. She was married to her first cousin & nephew when she was 15, and later fled with her baby girls to keep them from being raised in the same polygamous abuse, dysfunctions and doctrines. 

The Lack of Balance In The Media On Polygamy – Paula Guenon and I discuss the need for more balance in the media showing the effects of polygamy as being not about choice, and how the mainstream media ignores those who are abused and much more. Don’t miss out on a spirited conversation from a person who spent 50 years in polygamy, and from an outsider learning the dark side of it.

Finding her Dreams and Developing Her Talent – Cora Fischer Stubbs was indoctrinated into polygamy started when she was just 10 years old. She lived through hellacious times along with the good ones. She was married to her first husband as a second wife and had 8 children and in a second marriage as a 3rd wife and had 4 more children. Cora dedicated her life to them, and found joy in developing her talents and dreams as her children grew and moved on. Her life and stories are currently being depicted by filmmaker Jill Orschel for next year’s international film festivals.

Special Edition – Ask Away – Kristyn and co-host Ed Kociela have a Q&A session. Great questions and answers! kristyndeckerbooks@gmail.com and edkociela.mx@gmail.com

From Life in Polygamy to Political Activism – Troy Bowles grew up in a polygamous family. At age 17 he stopped participating in the religion. After spending some time in the Navy, he returned to Utah and got involved in political activism. He busied himself writing his story and telling of the ethical problems he saw within polygamy.

Letters of Courage & ActivismRena Mackert was a member of the FLDS.  When her assigned husband, who was also her step-brother announced he didn’t want to live polygamy she was told by the prophet, Leroy Johnson, to marry his brother. When she refused, and told him about her molesting her as a child, she was called a liar and that she had the spirit of apostasy. From that moment on, she knew he was a fraud. She ends her letter saying, “I truly believe that decriminalizing polygamy would set human rights and civil rights for women and children back 100 years. We might as well bring slavery back.”

12 year-old Brenda in the arms of evil.
12 year-old Brenda in the arms of evil.

Mark Valenzuela was Only 14 Years Old, When He was Kidnapped. In his families’ polygamist community in Pinesdale Montana, 3 men cut, beat and tortured him before they rolled him off a mountain side and left him to die in the middle of the winter. 40 years later, no legal or moral justice has happened to his perpetrators! After all these years, they continue to lie and cover up those atrocities, asserting to those “in the know” that their actions were vindicated by God.  

Mark Valenzuela – Part 2 —

There is Life After Abuse! Joslyn grew up on a fundamentalist Christian group and home, and attended a strict, cult-like “Bible College.” Having questions about her faith and seeking truth wherever it led, she was put under “house arrest” for wishing she could belong to another Christian denomination. She had a horrible experience with one of the church pastors, with whom she had been taken to talk with. Finally, her parents gave her an ultimatum—either stay in their home and faith, or move out. At 20 years-old, young, naïve, and having been raised in a sheltered environment, Josie fell into horrendous mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of a “friend” she thought she could trust. Conditioned to believe that was all her fault, she felt helpless and alone. Now, she has a wonderful life with a wonderful husband. Josie wants you and others to know you deserve unconditional love and joy also! 

Katherine Patton, Director and Co-founder of Ricky’s Revolution Non-Profit, has more than 20 years’ experience as a counselor and educator in the mental health field. She holds a BS in Psychology, an MS in Special Education, and an MA in Community Counseling, specializing in At-Risk-Youth. She works extensively with emotionally disturbed children and adolescents, abused/neglected adjudicated youth on probation and parole, and their families. Her experiences includes a broad range of therapeutic environments, including outpatient day treatment, residential treatment, therapeutic foster care, intensive multi-systemic in-home counseling, and working with runaway/homeless kids on the streets. Katherine believes in the value of human connection and in reminding them, they are not only loved but lovable, beautiful beings. Helping those who are hurting is her passion and lifelong professional and personal commitment. 

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Conversations With Kristyn Decker @ Polygamy Uncensored



Want To Be Sister-Wives?

“Let’s be sister-wives,” we young girl friends used to say to each other.

“But what if we don’t like the same man?” We’d question.

“I want to marry one of your brothers,” several of my friends would say.three-wives

“But you are so much prettier and smarter than I am, so our husband will love you more                                                                                     anyway.” I’d confess.

My girl-friends were mostly my first cousins, who, like me, lived in our neighborhood of 15, or so, homes full of several wives and dozens of children. Those on the “outside,” called our community Plygville.

Only a couple of my friends’ families were converts to my father’s huge polygamist group. Just like me, most of the kids had already spent their younger years within the confines of a belief system that dictated; Polygamy must be lived on this earth so that families can attain the Celestial Kingdom, and men may become Gods of their own worlds. Once you’d been taught those edicts—if you denied “the truth,” you would be damned for eternity without your family, having no hope for redemption.

Somewhere inside, we girls knew our meager lives would depend on the number of wives and children who would certainly divide and deflate our husband’s emotional, physical, and financial capabilities.

At 17, I chose to marry a good friend whom I adored. He was 7 years my senior. I doubt I was in love with him, but I was excited to be getting married before I’d be considered “an old maid.” Yes, I’d even say I was happy. At least I would be his first love and for a while I couldn’t allow myself to think of his future wives. In time, he convinced me that he and I were soul-mates, and assured me that we’d be happy-ever-after.

Eight years, four children later, and after withstanding the heart-ache from my husband’s flirtatious, (but religiously acceptable) desires for the young girls that he was attracted to, we married my second cousin.

Continue reading “Want To Be Sister-Wives?”

Decriminalizing Polygamy – Against Our Constitution? Is Consensual Adult Sex Good for Polygamous Children?

Decriminalizing Polygamy – Against Our Constitution? Is Consensual Adult Sex Good for Polygamous Children?

Marion Munn, Ed Kociela and Kristyn Decker will discuss the ramifications of Judge Waddoup’s decision to Decriminalize Polygamy in Utah.

To listen to POLYGAMY UNCENSORED live on Wednesdays at 10:00 a.m.



LISTEN TO ARCHIVED SHOWS: kristyn.srbroadcasting.com  

On the EDge: Waddoups’s polygamy decision not surprising

By Ed Kociela  http://bit.ly/JubUOm

December 14, 2013,

OPINION – In a decision that was not entirely unexpected, a U.S. District Court judge stripped the guts of Utah’s anti-polygamy law Friday. In his 91-page ruling, Judge Clark Waddoups […]

Letter was written to Paul Murphy of the Utah State AG’s office:
If Utah is serious about appealing this ruling, here is a golden opportunity to gain some credibility and a chance of actually winning through using Dr. Marci Hamilton,  a heavy duty  expert in the field of  constitutional law and polygamy.
As a precaution against it becoming “lost in space,” below is a copy of an email about Hamilton’s offer, and my perspective, which I just sent to the AG’s office.


Mr. Brian Tarbet,

As you consider whether to appeal Judge Waddoup’s recent ruling I would respectfully ask you to consider using Dr. Marci Hamilton, an acknowledged constitutional expert, to make that appeal. From the court records, it is apparent that the attorney used by your office in this case was ill prepared and uninformed.

I have extensive personal experience in polygamy, have worked with a charity assisting people leaving polygamist groups, and have also spent the last few years researching polygamy at the University of Utah. Because of this I am keenly aware that to label criticisms of polygamy as being “religious persecution,” or as simply prejudice against “unpopular” groups in society, is a dangerous road to go down.

This latest ruling erodes what has already been ruled upon concerning the “Free Exercise Clause” of the Constitution – that all religious belief is protected, but that all religious practices cannot be, because some are damaging to individuals or to society. And  I know from personal experience, observation, and academic research, that polygamy as Chief Justice Baumann of Canada observed is indeed “inherently abusive.”

I have spoken to Dr. Hamilton who is a recognized constitutional expert with extensive background knowledge about polygamy. She is willing to assist you in your appeal. Her contact details are as follows;
Marci A. Hamilton Verkuil Chair in Public Law Benjamin N. Cardozo Law School Yeshiva University @Marci_Hamilton

Please seriously consider using Dr. Hamilton’s extensive expertise,  because the implications of Judge Waddoups’ rulings are enormous and potentially extremely damaging to society.

Working Toward Things that Will Make a Difference

Christine and I on the phone, trying to help some folks out of a bad situation.
Christine and I on the phone, trying to help some folks out of a bad situation.

Continue reading “Working Toward Things that Will Make a Difference”

Selective Amnesia Regarding Adult Consent in Polygamy

Hello Again Everyone,

It seems like the more things there are to do, the more the list gets longer rather than shorter. So please forgive me for not up-dating more often.

We’re still working on getting my uncensored version of my book published. Today, I’m asking friends and acquaintances to help with an intriguing title.  Hopefully it will be ready by the end of this month. Meanwhile I thought I’d add this update and great information.

AS most of you know, I was born into polygamy, lived it and spent 50 years in that dire condition before I finally fled to freedom. During the last 8 years of that marriage, I became involved in several state advocacy programs and humanitarian activities. Through those services and therapy sessions, I learned more about the violations within my own polygamous life–one I believed I had chosen for myself and my children. I was learning how to become a stronger person; how to wake up and abandon those harmful and cohesive beliefs of 7 generations. Today my passion is to advocate for those who have left polygamy, as well as help educate society in general about the Human Rights violations within generational, patriarchal polygamy that is destructive to children, is NOT about free will choice, nor is it the same as same sex partnerships.

The Sound Choices Coalition advocates that states keep their anti-polygamy laws that are already in tack, to establish laws that will allow law enforcement to protect the thousands of innocent children who are still being abused under that guise of religious freedom.

We hope to help others find their way out of that demeaning, spiritually fraudulent belief and into productive, genuinely happy lives, as we have discovered.

I have attached some researched information so you may better understand why the following studies reflect the concerns, feelings and beliefs of the Sound Choices Coalition. This will also be updated in the near future with sites you can instantly refer to for more information as you read.

The SOUND CHOICES COALITION is a partnership of organizations and individuals who are uniting in an effort to end human rights violations due to polygamy and other forms of patriarchal abuse. 

If you have any questions or concerns and/or feel it in your heart to join this honorable cause, please email soundchoicescoaltion@gmail.com Please donate @ sound-choices.com – every dollar helps promote Human Rights and Education.

Selective Amnesia Regarding Adult Consent in Polygamy:

What We Must Forget in Order to Justify Legalization or Decriminalization of Patriarchal Polygamy and why there is no such thing as “consenting adults” in patriarchal polygamy.   C.M. Katas

Below is a list of facts which must be forgotten or ignored in order to believe that patriarchal polygamy should be legalized as a free choice for adult females, that it takes place among consenting adults, and that it is a victim-less crime.

Terrifying Consequences

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that women in many Mormon offshoot polygamous sects believe that “living the principle” is a requirement for godhood, and that refusing to live it will cause severe consequences to their eternal welfare. For true believers, fear of this consequence is so terrifying, they have no viable alternative.

Victims of Undue Influence

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that women believe that their prophet receives revelation from God concerning them, granting him a staggering ecclesiastical and the fiduciary power over them. When he imposes his will while disregarding the desires of the women, it is undue influence.

Consequences for Dissenting

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that “dissent against leadership or the institution of polygamy may land some women in psychiatric institutions.”

Disobedience Means Loss of Everything

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that exhibiting independence or refusing to comply with marriage assignments can result in banishment, losing one’s family, friends, community, home, dreams, ability to survive financially, faith, reputation, and fear you will forever be subject to the buffetings of Satan.

Coercion Nullifies Consent

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that “coercion nullifies the morally transformative power of consent,” and that coercion can be situational, psychological, non-violent, and non-physical. Coercion serves to “invalidate any consent that may have been given and to render impermissible any actions derived from the consent.” Loyola Law Professor, Kathleen Kim, “The Coercion of Trafficked Workers”

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget the gender inequality and imbalance of power between the man and his plural wives. We must forget that women believe their husbands can determine their eternal outcomes, and if they displease their husbands in mortality, husbands have the power to damn them for all eternity.

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must not know that women are compelled to covenant to obey (or hearken unto) their husbands – as he obeys God “in righteousness,” and that righteousness is subject to interpretation by the males in the community.

Broken into Submissiveness

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that the women are required to repent of their sins, and that the repentance process can be publicly humiliating, psychologically devastating and even physically violent if necessary to achieve the desired humility and obedience.


To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that women are manipulated through a series of rewards and punishments in an authoritarian structure that permits no feedback, inhibits the woman’s natural personality and behavior, makes her feel powerless and teaches her to deny her natural feelings.

Consecrate Their Whole Lives

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that righteous women must covenant to “live the law of consecration” or consent to be enslaved – giving their time, talent, possessions, resources to the building of the kingdom on this earth.

Unhealthy Foundation

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that in several large polygamous communities, abuse and incest are rampant, and women immersed in this culture often have a damaged psychological foundation and sense of self.

Uneducated About Choices

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that in many sects, children and young women are not properly educated about their choices or provided information pertaining to the outside world. “Even for adult women, there can be no true choice where the opportunity to examine alternative lifestyles/beliefs is denied in their youth.”

Independent Thinking Shunned

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that independent thinking and outside information are often shunned. “The fathers in the polygamous group are figures to respect but the mothers are only to be obeyed if they are in “perfect harmony” with the father. A child should never seek information other than what is offered by the leader, and this is to be accepted implicitly. In fact, children are not given conditions that require them to think. They fulfill their responsibilities to the cult or family, or they answer to someone over them.

Programmed People Do Not Have Free Will

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that a body of scientific work shows that the neuronal behaviors of brainwashed people behave so differently, critical thinking is nearly impossible.

Choice in Marriage

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that in some sects marriages are arranged by the leaders, and young women are prohibited from dating, falling in love, or choosing their own marriage partner. Often, they are required to marry men they have never met.

Changing Conditions in Marriages

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that even when women do choose their partners, conditions can change. In some polygamous cultures men take other wives without the knowledge or approval of the first wives. The circumstances of marriage have altered as economic, emotional and physical resources must now be shared with a stranger, but the wives are already bound.

Group Think – Do Not Self-Identify as Victims

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that women are pressured to suffer in silence while portraying an outward happiness, and that exploited people commonly do not realize they have been manipulated, or realize how deeply they have been victimized until they have had time away from their situation, learned to develop critical thinking skills, become educated on their rights and have had time to heal. “The most disconcerting thing about some victims of brainwashing is the vehemence with which they claim to have free will, to have chosen their destiny rather that to have been coerced into it.”

Women Are Dis-empowered

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget the “patriarchal, antidemocratic nature of polygamous communities that dis-empower women, individually and collectively, from being educated and making informed choices about their lives.”

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that when women must share their husbands with other women, personal desires for affection must be restrained and scheduled. Women must subdue their natural desires and spend countless lonely nights without a partner.

Sexual Exploitation

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that in some polygamous sects women can be assigned new husbands without notice or input, and they are required to become intimate with these men regardless of their personal feelings. Where is the choice in this?

Cult Mind Control

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must ignore the power of religious fundamentalism and the ability of cult mind-control and spiritual blackmail to impair proper decision-making. “When one has committed to a belief, renouncing it is unpleasant in any situation; on is renouncing part of one’s own identity.”

Objectification of Women

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget it objectifies women, and that polygamous leaders have frequently used the granting of wives and daughters, or the trading of wives and daughters, as currency or reward for favored males.

Loss of Reproductive Choice

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that ‘choosing’ polygamy often includes loss of reproductive choice, and that women are commanded to continually bear children, that their bodies are vessels to be worn out in childbirth.

Sex with Religious Counselor is Non-Consensual

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, particularly if a woman is called to be a ‘wife’ of a religious leader we must forget the description of non-consensual sex. Example:  Utah Code § 76-5-406 – Sexual offenses against the victim without consent of victim.

Clergy Abuse – Violation of Fiduciary Trust

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must agree that protecting freedom of religion trumps crimes committed by those in ecclesiastical/fiduciary positions of trust, even when they issue terroristic threats to the woman’s eternal well-being if they do not subjugate themselves to the desires of the fiduciary spiritual adviser.  This includes the requirement to consent to a felony being committed against them.

Abnormal Seems Normal

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must ignore the fact that women immersed in a culture with patriarchal practices, gender mistreatment or deviant behaviors are more likely to find female subjugation and other mistreatment to be normal and acceptable.

Polygamy Sometimes Work Well?

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that the benign media portrayal of the ‘normal’ polygamous Browns on the TV show ‘Sister Wives’ is entertaining propaganda, and does not represent the true realities and choices of most of the women in polygamy.

 “But can’t it work for some families?”

“In all my years living polygamy, I never knew a happy family. I knew many who would put on a happy family show for the media, but behind closed doors, the women were always suffering.” Vicky Prunty, co-founder, Tapestry Against Polygamy

There is no such thing as so-called ‘good polygamy’.”

Supreme Court of British Columbia: Decision November 23, 2011 -Religion Cannot Be Used as a Defense To justify legalizing polygamy as a free religious choice for women, we must forget that it is a felony, that religion cannot be used as a defense, and that the Utah Supreme Court ruled that “the protections enshrined in the federal constitution, as well as our state constitution, guaranteeing the free exercise of religion and conscience … do not shield polygamous practices from state prosecution.”

Cannot Consent to a Felony Against Yourself

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must disregard the law, superseding it with a personal opinion that “because a woman was over 18,” she must have been able to consent to the felony committed against her, therefore she could not be a victim and no crime was committed.

Slave-like Conditions

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that women often live in poverty and if they work, it is frequently under slave-like conditions, working for little or no pay but giving it to the “building of the kingdom” which is run by men. This is also known as human trafficking. “One of the most common misconceptions about human trafficking is that it is primarily a crime of movement. It is not. In fact, the law does not require any movement or crossing of jurisdictional boundaries for a trafficking crime to occur. Human trafficking is primarily a crime of exploitation. Human trafficking occurs when an individual’s freedom is curtailed and labor or other services are extracted through force, fraud, or coercion by another individual.”

Consent Impossible for Enslaved, or Trafficked, Women

In order to view polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that legally, there is no such thing as ‘consent’ to being trafficked, and in the law, consent is irrelevant. http://www.polarisproject.org/human-trafficking/overview/myths-and-misconceptions

ABUSE OF POWER – Often Traumatized

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that many consider polygamy a form of slavery, or human trafficking, and we must forget that women who escape almost always have post-traumatic stress disorder at levels akin to torture.

Rampant Psychological Abuse

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that they do not choose the inter-family politics and rivalries, sister-wife cruelty, psychological manipulations, and unmet needs for intimacy.

Overwhelming Anguish

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that if these choices were truly what women desired, depression and suicide attempts among the women in these communities would not be so elevated; nor, would there be so many wives and teens fleeing from this divine “lifestyle.” No one chooses. “It has been important to the author that in this field of “the psychological impact of polygamy on its victims,” there is a great deal of convergence of data, too much in fact, to ignore.”

Negative Harms of Polygamy

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, as if it is a victimless crime between consenting adults, we must forget the plethora of studies documenting the harmful effects of polygamy. Some of these harms are listed in an affidavit by Susan Stickevers, M.D., but this is the tip of the ice berg.

• Higher rates of depression

• Higher rates of anxiety

• Higher rates of psychiatric hospitalization and outpatient psychiatric treatment

• Higher rates of marital dissatisfaction in wives of polygamous marriages

• Lower levels of self- esteem in wives of polygamous marriages

• Higher levels of solemnization, phobia and other psychological problems in wives of polygamous marriages

• Lower levels of academic achievement in wives of polygamous marriages

• Lower levels of academic achievement and more difficulty with mental health and social adjustment in the children of polygamous marriages

Canadian Conclusions:

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that Canada, a country so liberal that they legalized same-sex marriage in 2004, and prostitution in 2012; then sought to overturn the ban on polygamy. But after “the most comprehensive judicial record on the subject ever produced,” Chief Justice Bauman wrote the following.

“I have concluded that the Attorneys General and their allied Interested Persons have demonstrated a very strong basis for a reasoned apprehension of harm to many in our society inherent in the practice of polygamy as I have defined it in these reasons…

• Women in polygamous relationships are at an elevated risk of physical and psychological harm.

•They face higher rates of domestic violence and abuse, including sexual abuse.

•Competition for material and emotional access to a shared husband can lead to fractious co-wife relationships.

•These factors contribute to the higher rates of depressive disorders and other mental health issues women in polygamous relationships face.

•They have more children, are more likely to die in childbirth and live shorter lives than their monogamous counterparts.

•They tend to have less autonomy, and report higher rates of marital dissatisfaction and lower levels of self-esteem.

•They also fare worse economically, as resources may be inequitably divided or simply insufficient.

Regarding Harms to Children

•Children in polygamous families face higher infant mortality, even controlling for economic status and other relevant variables.

•They tend to suffer more emotional, behavioral and physical problems, as well as lower educational achievement than children in monogamous families.

•These outcomes are likely the result of higher levels of conflict, emotional stress and tension in polygamous families.

• In particular, rivalry and jealousy among co-wives can cause significant emotional problems for their children.

•The inability of fathers to give sufficient affection and disciplinary attention to all of their children can further reduce children’s emotional security.

•Children are also at enhanced risk of psychological and physical abuse and neglect.

Women Deserve Equality

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that polygamy suffers the opprobrium of international human rights condemnation, that it contravenes a woman’s right to equality with men, can have serious emotional and financial consequences, and that it undermines the rights of women in relation to family life, security and citizenship.

Violation of Human Rights

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that polygamy is replete with violations of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which recognizes the “inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family.”

Harms Are Endemic

To justify legalizing polygamy as a free choice for women, we must forget that Canadian Chief Justice Bauman wrote in his decision that “the harms associated with the practice are endemic; they are inherent,” and that the harms “are not simply the product of individual misconduct; they arise inevitably out of the practice.” In other words, he was not talking about the harms that come from specific crimes or abuses committed by individuals living in polygamy, but the harms of polygamy even when there is no religion or abuse involved.

“Polygamy’s harm to society includes the critical fact that a great many of its individual harms are not specific to any particular religious, cultural or regional context. They can be generalized and expected to occur wherever polygamy exists.” ~Justice Bauman



For references more details and details read the whole article: http://voicesfordignity.com/what-we-must-forget-in-order-to-justify-the-legalization-or-decriminalization-of-patriarchal-polygamy/

Sound Choices Coalition Web Page and Consent in Polygamy

Hello everyone!

Please check out our new and ever progressing Webpage for Sound Choices Coalition.  I hear many people say polygamy should be decriminalized or legalized, with a few good reasons, such as pro-choice etc.

I agree with real choice, however!  Please read this research about CHOICE and CONSENT.

Then you may want to SIGN THE PETITION to Stand Against Legalizing the Subjugation of Women Through Polygamy

Selective Amnesia Regarding Adult Consent in Polygamy  What We Must Forget in Order To Justify Legalization or Decriminalization of Patriarchal Polygamy

Thank you!

Balboa Press Interview about Interviewing

This was a fun – an interview about interviewing.
I really like my publishing company and the people who work there. Even though
they work with hundreds, they make me feel like I’m the only author they have. I’m
pretty sure all of their authors feel the same way.