Why Not Polygamy?

 Why Not Polygamy? 

No practice that results in such ill effects should be a “right” under the US Constitution.

“The harms flowing from polygamy are too evident to ignore and too serious to allow to occur under the guise of fundamental rights.” (Lawyer, Thomas Buck.)

 Is the polygamy issue “just like gay marriage?” Gay marriage and polygamy are vastly different in effect. We do not see the same abuses in monogamous, same-sex relationships. Gay marriages potentially offer equal power sharing and a stable unit that is not constantly changing with the addition of new partners.

Consenting adults? Many adult women enter polygamy under psychological and emotional pressure, believing that their eternal souls are in danger of destruction if they refuse to participate. Women from fundamentalist, Muslim, and other backgrounds face cultural pressures to conform to this practice.

Legislating morality? The US has always “legislated morality” independent of any religious rationale. Murder, rape, theft, etc., are illegal because they are morally wrong—i.e., they cause significant harms to individuals and society. The same applies to polygamy. Its results extend far beyond the bedroom.

“Good” polygamy versus “bad” polygamy?  Canada’s ruling on polygamy found that “The harms associated with the practice are endemic; they are inherent.” This means that the harms of polygamy are not just the result of abusive individuals. Social, physical, or emotional harms are inevitable where polygamy exists.

Equal rights. Polygamy violates a woman’s right to equality and emotional health. Polygamy is “anathema to women’s economic, social and emotional well-being.” (Dr. Shoshona Grossbard.)

Disrupted family stability. In polygamy, men compete for women while attempting to maintain multiple relationships. This forces women to compete for love, attention, and resources. It also restricts time available for parenting and diminishes the economic resources needed for children’s well being. Living in a family where the dynamics may change at any time as the father adds multiple partners, creates insecurity for children and family instability.

Women as a commodity.  Polygamist males frequently seek to control the lives of females, who become commodities to be trafficked and traded between families and communities.

Increased sexual abuse. Holding out HELP (a Utah-based nonprofit) reports that over 90% of its clients leaving polygamy are victims of physical or sexual abuse (of which incest forms a part). Illegal underage sexual relations occur more frequently because competition for females drives down the age for “marriage.”

Polygamy, an antisocial and unsustainable practice. With a global 1:1 ratio of men to women, polygamy permits some men exclusive rights to multiple women, while denying other men a partner. One example of this anti social behavior is the “Lost Boys” phenomenon. In nations where the gender ratio has been disrupted, sexual violence follows. (See India, where selective abortion of females means some men cannot find a partner.)


Visit us at sound-choices.com and www.facebook.com/SoundChoicesCoalition


Want To Be Sister-Wives?

“Let’s be sister-wives,” we young girl friends used to say to each other.

“But what if we don’t like the same man?” We’d question.

“I want to marry one of your brothers,” several of my friends would say.three-wives

“But you are so much prettier and smarter than I am, so our husband will love you more                                                                                     anyway.” I’d confess.

My girl-friends were mostly my first cousins, who, like me, lived in our neighborhood of 15, or so, homes full of several wives and dozens of children. Those on the “outside,” called our community Plygville.

Only a couple of my friends’ families were converts to my father’s huge polygamist group. Just like me, most of the kids had already spent their younger years within the confines of a belief system that dictated; Polygamy must be lived on this earth so that families can attain the Celestial Kingdom, and men may become Gods of their own worlds. Once you’d been taught those edicts—if you denied “the truth,” you would be damned for eternity without your family, having no hope for redemption.

Somewhere inside, we girls knew our meager lives would depend on the number of wives and children who would certainly divide and deflate our husband’s emotional, physical, and financial capabilities.

At 17, I chose to marry a good friend whom I adored. He was 7 years my senior. I doubt I was in love with him, but I was excited to be getting married before I’d be considered “an old maid.” Yes, I’d even say I was happy. At least I would be his first love and for a while I couldn’t allow myself to think of his future wives. In time, he convinced me that he and I were soul-mates, and assured me that we’d be happy-ever-after.

Eight years, four children later, and after withstanding the heart-ache from my husband’s flirtatious, (but religiously acceptable) desires for the young girls that he was attracted to, we married my second cousin.

Continue reading “Want To Be Sister-Wives?”

Working Toward Things that Will Make a Difference

Christine and I on the phone, trying to help some folks out of a bad situation.
Christine and I on the phone, trying to help some folks out of a bad situation.

Continue reading “Working Toward Things that Will Make a Difference”

Is Polygamy a Choice or Not a Choice? Interview With Rebecca Kimbel

Continue reading “Is Polygamy a Choice or Not a Choice? Interview With Rebecca Kimbel”

Sound Choices Coalition Web Page and Consent in Polygamy

Hello everyone!

Please check out our new and ever progressing Webpage for Sound Choices Coalition.  I hear many people say polygamy should be decriminalized or legalized, with a few good reasons, such as pro-choice etc.

I agree with real choice, however!  Please read this research about CHOICE and CONSENT.

Then you may want to SIGN THE PETITION to Stand Against Legalizing the Subjugation of Women Through Polygamy

Selective Amnesia Regarding Adult Consent in Polygamy  What We Must Forget in Order To Justify Legalization or Decriminalization of Patriarchal Polygamy

Thank you!

Polygamous Hitler Regime


My husband, LeRoy Decker, served his time in Germany, when the Iron Curtain was going up. His battalion was there to protect those who risked their lives trying to cross the Iron Curtain to freedom. He still serves his country right here from our home. Nearly every day he helps a neighbor, a family member, another discarded or escapee from a polygamous cult. LeRoy supports me and others who help gather any remnants of sanity and courage they might have after a life of trauma and programing to move forward.

Though we try not to let their gut wrenching accounts, and our countries’ ignorance about what is really going on right here in our western states change our mood of love and gratitude, they often do. It’s difficult to stay in peace when we hear X-FLDS, who dare defy threats of damnation and/or blood-atonement divulge forbidden information.

It’s been assured that Warren spent thousands of hours studying Hitler when he was young. Like Hitler, Warren meticulously and methodically set himself up to be a dictator based on totalitarian and autocratic ideology. He and his top henchman, his brother Lyle, recognize no limits to their authority; controlling the clan and keeping them hostage with threats and terror.

For over 55 years, FLDS generations have been trained to “without question,” do whatever their zealot prophets have dictated. Therefore the footwork had already been set in stone when Warren Jeff’s father and he solidified a system of autocracy, where only one person has absolute power.

Hitler demanded – and Warren demands absolute obedience. That kind of autocratic dominance became even more obvious to me in 1999, when Rulon Jeffs (with Warren’s insistence,) told my oldest sister and everyone else not to talk to, or allow anyone, including one’s own children, who’ve apostatized, into their homes. FLDS children and teachers were commanded to stop attending their own FLDS public school. Like Hitler, Jeffs also demanded that anyone’s “perceived evil doings” must be reported and punished.

This past year, all of the FLDS children have been, and are still being taken from their parents for “training” sessions. Nazi Party youth – mainly boys, were taught to rat on each other, hate their parents, and kill them and their siblings if asked to. FLDS children are warned not to divulge their “sacred” teachings to anyone, including their parents, or they will die. We wicked people “on the outside,” they are told, will kill them if they don’t behave.

Warren and his brother Lyle are still ripping fathers, mothers and children apart and re-assigning (prostituting) them again and again. There is hardly a family of thousands left in-tact. YET most fundamentalists, religious enthusiasts, and those of you who haven’t known the truth, claim WE – the United States, Utah, Arizona and Texas were evil and wrong for those so called “raids” – for severing family bonds and ties. Please note, pass the word and remember: in 1945, 1953 and 2008 the states were in reality, trying to rescue women and children from omnipresent polygamous bondage and slavery.

Warren may still allow a dozen or so men, whom he says “qualify” to impregnate any married woman who wants to conceive; as long as that union is witnessed. Since he’s such a pervert; I believe he requires those “holy sessions” be recorded so he can watch them from his prison cell.

The average polygamous woman has between 10 and 25 children. Many, (men call insane,) really brave women, who have fought “in anger” to save their children from sexual abuse, from being stolen into slavery and raped… and have tried to save themselves from repression, slavery, or anything else their priesthood-head deems a “not keeping sweet” issue, do not have a chance. They have been beaten up, arrested for domestic violence – diagnosed (by whom) with some form of mental illnesses, subdued with drugs, barely fed, and locked away until they repent and conform to their master’s inhumane and/or perverse demands. These abuses are still controlled and prolonged by Warren’s mafia like enforcement, all in the name of religious freedom…

Adherents are to once again prepare for another dooms day by literally having nothing and doing nothing but work. They must fast and pray for Warren’s freedom. By December’s end, Warren has prophesied, the world will explode; at which time he will miraculously appear on the mountain top. From there he’ll ascend, leading his “faithful” into the Celestial Kingdom.

The AUB cult I was born into was too controlling and crazy making; but I thank LOVE that I wasn’t raised in the FLDS cult! Not long ago, I proudly announced, “I wouldn’t have let Warren Jeffs, a pedophile and rapist, take my 8 year old son from me! I wouldn’t have allowed or given my daughters to him or any one of those perverted old men for anything!” Over my 50 years in polygamy, there were a lot of things I swore I’d never do. I once stood in front of a mirror and swore I’d never leave polygamy. But the saddest truth, if I’d have been one of those women you saw exiting the buses while Texas’ Division of Family Service attempted to RESCUE the women and children; or any that you see shopping at Wal-Mart and Costco in their long pioneer dresses I’m sure I’d have done anything “our” prophets told me to do. If you and I would have been any one of those thousand or more diminished and crushed souls born into this kind of cult mentality and Hitler regime – you too, may have have conformed in the name of God and fear.

Warren has convinced his clan that they are responsible for his incarceration. He’s promised them that the earth hasn’t been cleansed and they have not been “lifted up” because of THEIR lack of Godliness and faith. When the earth doesn’t explode at December’s end, as Warren has prophesied, and all of the people don’t get wiped from the face of the earth, will he trigger a mass suicide to prove, (cover-up) this of many of his false prophecies? His vast majority wouldn’t hesitate to drink the cool-aid if they were told to. Several who have left, said there were times they’d have slit any throat, if their prophet told them to.

Hitler’s crimes in Europe went un-noticed or disbelieved for nearly 10 years. Why? FLDS and other cult crimes have been ignored, covered up, and allowed for over 55 years while they have inner bred and bore hundreds of babies with fumarase disease.

Will it be too late to help the men, women and children avoid another (like) Holocaust? Are U.S. citizens going to keep their eyes closed to the atrocities that go on inside of this and other like-minded polygamous cults? Will some of our state representatives, law enforcement, hired lobbyists, and uninformed neighbors continue to be deceived, bribed, lied to, and sweet-talked by these programed clan’s – keep-sweet, conniving and convincing words? “Leave us alone. We are just living our religion.”

Today and every day, I thank LOVE that I’m no longer in polygamy’s strong-hold—that our children and grandchildren aren’t one of those FLDS Stepford wives, children, teens or men who have been programmed to blind obedience – to obey without question and propagate that same HITLER mentality.

With open hearts, knowledge, understanding, meditation, funding, housing and LOVE, all of us can all make a difference for those who have been and are still imprisoned in the false doctrines of polygamy, brainwashed in obedience, loyal to Hitler mentalities, and living an iron-curtain life-styles.

THANK YOU to my precious husband, and the rest of you, who continue to support our country with LOVE and integrity.